White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
