Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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