dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
now i know why i became what i already was.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize