her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
