WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
