I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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