We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
