ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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