On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
