Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize