Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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