why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
