when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm bleeding and have questions
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
