i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
