I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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