Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
