Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
