respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
