So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
