he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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