It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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