You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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