She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
