And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
