Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
