You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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