hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
