Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
