I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
