You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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