i would punch a child for taco bell
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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