Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
