im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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