It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
