thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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