Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
