she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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