when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
