Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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