I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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