Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
