is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize