Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
