Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
you made out with another girl for some wings
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
