My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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