last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
