I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
no you cant smoke seaweed
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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