I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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