Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
