i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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