so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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