So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
there is puke in my bra ... again
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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