I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize