Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
