I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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