The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
