it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
