So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
