school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
