I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
