If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
